Well, I was going to tell you, gentle readers, about Walnut Creek before, but I didn't, so now I will.

Last weekend I had to go to my mom's house in the evil-ruled land of Tracy in the Hell-like central valley of California. However, I had to come back on Sunday. My mom had a concert at a church in Walnut Creek, and to save her from driving in the morning to Walnut Creek and then coming back to Tracy and then going all the way to San Francisco and dropping me off with my new comfy computer chair, Hellbunny and I opted to go with her and bum around Walnut Creek for a few hours while she did her concert at the Catholic church there. Keep that bit in mind, it becomes important later.

So we go there, and after dropping my mom off, go downtown. (Well, it took us a minute to find downtown, plus we had to stop at Target so Hellbunny could buy more Hello Kitty shirts.) Once we got there we found a mall that was not a mall. It was actually a giant parking structure connected to a Macy's that was unconnected to shitty other stores. When we asked where the bookstore was, the chick working there told us to go in completely the wrong direction. Thanks.

We went to 7-11 and got cheap sushi and green tea, and the sushi was astonishingly actually pretty good. So, lost, we wandered around for a while and just when we gave up and got back into the car we found fucking Barnes & Nobel. So we went in there, and they had nothing good. So we left and got food, never found the other bookstore, and gave ourselves an hour to find the church again. Despite leaving so early to find the church (after getting gas) we drove around for AN HOUR AND A HALF.

We asked a million people for directions and most of them had trouble with the concept of what a church even was. Most of the rest had no idea if there were even any churches in Walnut Creek. We didn't think to ask for the CATHOLIC church, so we got sent to a lot of stupid, weird ass churches like Church of the Mighty Phallus and such, before we at last found a guy and his wife who are among my heroes right now, because they, bless their hearts, knew where the catholic church was. We got my mom, and they had brownies and watermelon for us waiting! And my mom wasn't even furious that we'd kept her waiting there for half an hour!

But the real reason Walnut Creek sucks is that it's full of snooty rich people in their BMWs and Mercedes who think that if you're driving a BMW or a Mercedes you have the right of way over people driving anything made by Ford. And that people in Fords damn well better know to get out of your way and/or stop for you. So we had a bunch of lunatics cutting us off, trying to slam into us, or otherwise endangering our lives every minute. I mean it.

It's not like the usual bay area situation where you have people trying to plow into you because they have no idea where they are or how to drive. This was all the rich people there treating all the not-so-rich people like shit. Constantly. I wanted to get out and beat the fuck out of them and piss all over the interior of their fancy schancy ass beamers.