An email I received recently:

"FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE CHATTING/EMAILING WITH ALL THOSE HOURS!

Is your spouse cheating on you online? Are your kids talking to dangerous people on instant messenger?

FIND OUT NOW with Big Brother
instant software download.

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Big Brother will hide on your computer and secretly record all instant messages, chat, email, web sites, and more! Once you install it, it becomes completely invisible. Then, after the computer is used, you just enter a secret key-sequence, and you can see everything that happened!"

First of all, I must greet you Becky (absolut1@yahoo.com) by informing you of something you probably did not know. YOU ARE MORON!

That out of the way, let's continue. OH YES, IT'S A REALLY FUCKING GOOD IDEA TO FUCKING SPY ON YOUR FUCKING FAMILY! This is like hiding under your son's bed while he masturbates to Gundam Wing hentai. Do you really WANT to know what your son is masturbating to? This is like hanging from the ceiling in the bathroom and watching your daughter wedge the shampoo bottle in and out of her ass while screaming about one of the Backstreet Boys or the Hanson brothers or who ever it is mornic MTV-brainwashed teenage girls lust after these days. Again, do you really want to know about that? As for your husband 'cheating on you online', how is knowing that your husband visits 'www.fuckbitchhosluts.com' on a regular basis to relieve his sexual tension because you're too busy being a frigid bitch to give him some pussy helping you in any way, shape, or form? By the way, pornography and masturbation isn't cheating, asswad.

Furthermore, what the fuck makes you think I'm female, married, and have children? None of that shit applies to me, you bitch ass goat-raping piece of shit!

By the way, only a lobomotized chimpanzee (sorry, I didn't mean to insult your family, Becky) would purchase a fucking keylogger named after one of the most frightening, horrific concepts in modern literature. YOUR MARKETING DEPARTMENT AM MORON!

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