Well, well, well. Today we have a special treat for you, asses and assettes. It's our very first request. Remember, if you want to painfully humilate your braindead friends, just drop us an email at fuckblogs@masterforce.org. Now, that said, let's get on with the shooow!

Somone Could Use A Little Fucking Prozac

Boy. I love hearing people whine about completely farcical problems. I love hearing people air their completely worthless problems. I love it when they post links to pr0n. Oh yes, I really need your fucking piece of shit 'blog' to direct me at pr0n... while you whine about how you're not going to look at pr0n anymore. Especially when you don't have a girl now, and probably wont ever. Because it's a really good idea to just bottle up all of the sexual tension until it becames an excuse to rape the tuba player next to you at band camp one day.

Listen to this awesome quote, friends: "story: the room is full fo ice cream said she as the orange pencil slid in to a stop hoping to baryy hs lead in th e ground. I fneed sleep he said with a shock as the purple lagoon settled inot the over chair. look at hte sun said the moons ang e thought of flowers as they bloom onthe firlsds. my o my siad the deer. how are you sain the food can. I ama purple bee said the tree as he skipped down the street. good boy is here said free men all year long. my eyes hurt and hands move slow said the penis to me. hehehe siad i to me o my as she went to go pee.THE END"

Okay, step one: PUT DOWN THE FUCKING BOTTLE. Step two: Find a baseball bat. Step three: Apply repeatedly to forehead. Repeat as necessary.

I have a story for you, oiley or whatever the hell you call yourself. It goes a little something like this: Once there was this pathetic loser. He was an insecure pussy. He whined about how he couldn't find himself a girl to just fuck and not have a serious relationship with. He decided to whine like this on the Internet, because no one would listen to him whine in person. He tried to hit on my girlfriend. They never found his body. The end.

I think I'll have more to say about this 'blog' later.