Hello everyone! Your favourite person here - Yes me. Ah, what fun it is to laugh at blogs again. This reminds me of (some may remember him) the infamous Chris! Only he was A) Not as annoying and B) Didn't write crappy poetry.... well, he did.... I think.... but uh.... yeah. I can write crazy 'goth' poetry too! It is titled "Ode to Janus"

My heart is black
My Feet are bloody
Blood from the father
Blood from the soul

The soul, it bleeds
It bleeds like a bleedy thing
You love Nine Inch Nails
We beat you

Our black heart chokes us
Blackness all around us
Like a cloak of darkness
Before we too, join death

Now wasn't that just great?! I should become a poet. I'd be good.

"the road less traveled is usually more rocky, bring good shoes" - Say your prayers Ghandi.

- Ian(I better get fucking death threats again like last time I made fun of some crazy fool(s) - Hi Chris, Amy and Michelle)

For the record, I am finally back in San Francisco now, which is why I'm going through all my old mail and replying to people I didn't reply to before. That's why ye olde anti-blog is so active tonight. Oh, if you were curious, yes, a new update of MFO is coming soon. I'm too brainfried to finish it tonight, but I've got nothing to do until Friday, except watch lots of Orguss, so I'll try and whip up a full update for you loyal Masterforceketeers post haste.

Oh yes, and another thing...

Our anti-blog is rated a 9.2 out of 10 possible points based on 171 votes at Blog Hot Or Not. I just want to thank each and every one of you who have helped us mercilessly destroy our foes. Please get your friends to join our crusade against shitty ass 'blogs'.

Melodrama, eh? mybrokensoul.blogspot.com My thoughts:

Allow me to begin by just thinking about the name a little. My Broken Soul. One word instantly pops into my head: goth. Some little The Cure listener wearing his mommy's black pantyhose, maybe?

We start the nightmare off with crappy poetry. Oh yeah. I couldn't get enough of that shit in high school and I sure can't now. I'm so glad such gifted people grace the Internet with their art.

Breaking news bulletin: POEMS DO NOT HAVE TO RHYME.

It makes me want to crack open the old 764-HERO. Their lyrics: "I'm waiting for the downpour/I'm waiting for it/It's like bad poetry/it's fucking high school poetry". Yeah... that's it. Perfect. [Shudder.] Please. No one wants to read this shit. You are not helping things. Sure. Go ahead and write your shitty poetry. Just don't put it on the Internet. No one wants to read it. Really. Just leave it in your notebook and move on.

This author (and I twist the word nearly to its breaking point) actually has the audacity to have a section of the 'blog' for 'deep thoughts'. Let me give you an example of the stunning depths of Janus' mind. "memories are more fun for the people who were their to make them". Sigh. Why do I even try? First of all, sentences begin with a big letter. Second of all, sentences end with some form of punctuation like a question mark or a period. Thirdly, it is 'there' not 'their'. Use the right fucking word, genius. And finally... what the hell kind of a stupid thing is that to say?! No fucking kidding memories are more enjoyable for the people who actually experienced them. What, did you think you were letting us in on a secret? Jesus.

Here's another deep [cough] thought from the mighty Janus: "if you play a board game by yourself you always win. but you also always lose". Never have I heard such an interesting analogy drawn between board games and masturbation. Well... no. I just made that up. Actually, Janus just said something incredibly stupid. Name a board game that is worth playing by yourself. Name one. Monopoly? No. You start out with a monopoly if it's just you. Risk? No. You can't conquer the world if you already rule the entire thing. Trivial Pursuit? What, you're gonna ask yourself the questions? How do you keep yourself from cheating? When you check the answers to see if you were right you find out anyway. Why not just take the stack of cards out and read them instead of playing some pointless (and not fun) game by yourself? Go get a date or something. I know for a fact there are lots of really stupid people out there just dying to reproduce as rapidly as possible.

Board games are intended to be played by multiple people. This is not a shock. Of course you are going to be a 'loser' if you play by yourself. No shit! This is not a deep thought. This is a shallow thought. This is like staring at an orange wall and going, "Wow... that wall is orange. Hey! I had a deep thought! Orange walls are called orange because they are the color of oranges!" Argh! By Jove, you should've learned this shit before kindergarden!

I like that. I'm gonna use that more. By Jove! I'm gonna try taking a different god's name in vain. And really, Zeus is a lot more entertaining than anything Christianity has offered up. Zeus changed himself into whatever he needed to to get him a hot chick. Beat that, Jesus.

Alright. My comments on janus314.blogspot.com are here!

Boy. This isn't starting out too well. I quote: "the reason college is harder is because its waaaay easier to get behind, since instead of daily assignments you have huge long readings to do that pile up, essays that sneak up on you, and deadlines you forget about." Here's a thought maybe college is "harder" because you can "hardly" speak English. There's this innovative system out there that involves sentences that begin with big letters.

I know. I know. Shocking.

In the real world people make judgements about you based on the way you appear and behave. In the Internet, we can't tell if you're wearing a greasy ten year old M*A*S*H t-shirt covered in mayonaise and mustard stains or see that you weigh more than a beached whale, but we certainly notice when you are about as eloquent as a tire iron and have the grammatical skills of a mollusk.

Reading further down the page we get constant mindless babbling about what college or university is. News flash: We don't care. We're either at college already (hi Mom!) or we were before, or we just don't care. You're not offering some kind of deep insight into the world around you, so why bother spewing your seed onto the Internet?

I mean... listen to this brilliant commentary. "eugene, college is harder then uni." You know, you should start sentences with a big letter, children. This was the entire post. Just a declaration with absolutely no evidence, not even anecdotal or circumstantial evidence to support the statement. Why exactly are we to believe that a (junior) college is more difficult than a university?

This continues. "i agree it's so sad" follows up another poster. WHY do you agree? Do you actually think, or do you just spew shit out at high velocity? What is your intention here? Maybe people shouldn't be allowed to have a 'blog' if they don't have a defined purpose for it. Why are you telling us this worthless shit?

And while I'm at it, there's another innovative new system. It involves using PUNCTUATION when writing sentences. Imagine that! Punctuation! What will they think of next?

For the record, I imagine some junior colleges are harder than some universities, whereas other universities are harder than other junior colleges. There's a rather wide variety of schools, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Another thing to consider is the strengths and weaknesses a particular person may have.

I found De Anza College largely a piece of cake, excepting math. I'm not very good at math and I had shitty teachers, which made it a nightmare. The English and history classes and such, even the hard ones, were a breeze for me. Same thing at Delta College, except that I had one really good math teacher, one completely awful teacher, and one pretty good teacher. Now that I'm at San Francisco State University, I have to tell you that the English classes aren't really HARD for me, but they require a lot more effort on my part. They are not a breeze. I actually have to work at them. So, in my experience, your statement is false. Since I provided some evidence (in the form of the anecdotes above), my argument wins by default because you failed to provide even the merest hint of evidence.

I can't be bothered to go deeper into this pit of inanity, but I hope I've provided you some criticism with which you can learn to improve. Or, better yet, just burn your fucking blog. Save the Internet! Get off of it.

(Why do people keep emailing me to have me attack their 'blogs'? While I understand that feedback is important, I've stated my intention to scald and scold and not be very nice about it. Is this what people really want?)

A bit of the old fan mail.

Date: Sat, 04 Jan 2003 17:57:18 -0500
Subject:
To: fuckblogs@masterforce.org
From: "Naresh K. Jegadeesh" (njegade@LearnLink.Emory.Edu)

hey hey heyyy found your blog real biting i like it yeah soo can you review these two blogs: janus janus314.blogspot.com-me and friends random/planner blog from senior year, last year interesting stuff mybrokensoul.blogspot.com
-melodramatic friend of mine makes a lot of stuff up PLEASE review this one thanks -naresh

Well Naresh, I haven't reviewed any blogs lately, but I just got back to San Francisco after a grueling day (and a month in Michigan) and I was in Tracy and hating it again for a bit so maybe I have just the right combination of jetlag, exhaustion, and crankiness for me to give it a go. Alright... I think I'll handle this in two installments... two separate posts. Just gimme time to do a little reading and check back here in a few for my thoughts.

Oh yeah. Even more fan mail. I be popular these days.

Date: Mon, 23 Dec 2002 06:10:53 -0500
Subject: Megatron cannon for Microman
From: eMouse (emouse@mac.com)
To: ginrai@masterforce.org

I was looking for pages with information about how Megatron’s black parts can be assembled, and found your page.

I think your Microman version of the cannon might be slightly wrong. It’s been a long time since I had a Microman, but I believe they have a hole in their back for accessories? Does that hole match the peg on the side of the middle stock piece? The middle stock piece slides into the slotted stock piece in such a way that it suggests a chair back.

I think that’s the intended configuration for Microman use.

--
Rob Brunskill
emouse@mac.com

Hmm. Well, I don't actually have the toy to check (it's Hellbunny's toy and it's at her place in San Jose) and yes, Micromen do have holes in their backs for accessories and whatnot. Looking at my trusty copy of Takara SF Land, it does look like there's a chair back bit that's supposed to be there. Odd, because I don't recall it having that function on Hellbunny's reissue. Probably I just didn't figure it out right. Heh. Sorry. There's also another screw up in that article in the pictures (and I don't mean being out of focus), so all I can say is... oops! When I get the opportunity I'll try to reshoot them. Being that I don't have ready access to the toys (and neither does Hellbunny) I doubt it'll be any time soon. Thanks for writing in and letting us know, though!

Yay! A helpful bit of mail! I love it. :)

More fan mail!

From: w.howze@attbi.com
To: ginrai@masterforce.org
Subject: pentabot
Date: Mon, 16 Dec 2002 14:21:56 +0000

What are these worth$$$$?? - I have one, but it is out of the package and played with.
thanks

bill

Heh. What are you willing to pay for it?

Heh. No, I'll give you $5 for it. :)

I hate it when people email me asking how much a toy is worth. Are they trying to sell it to me? Are they trying to get me to appraise it for them so they can scalp it to their local comic shop/eBay/local scary guy who lives in his mom's basement? It's really only worth what people will pay for it and that tends to fluctuate a lot with most items.

As far as the Pentabot release of Acrobunch, I wouldn't pay more than $40 for an absolutely gorgeous one. But other people might go higher or lower. It depends. Sorry I can't be more specific.

STUPID.

MOTHER.

FUCKING.

BLOGGER.

... just devoured a big post from me. I'm really angry. Maybe I'll try to rewrite it when I've calmed down. Godfuckingdammit.

Sigh. "Fan mail" again.

From: Mike James
To: ginrai@masterforce.org
Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 09:54:43 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Deluxe Megazord

Can you please sell me that deluxe megazord. Ill pay 13.00 for it , please , I am looking for this everywhere and I really want it, thanks

Boy. I've been attracting some real charmers lately. Mike, I hate to tell you this, but that DX Megazord in my article is not mine. I never owned it, in fact. It belongs to my friend Jim, which I could swear I've mentioned before on the site, possibly in that article itself, though I'm too tired to check. All I personally have is the Thunder Megazord, Dragonzord with uh... Tigerzord and Tricera...zord, and Wild Force Megazord. Now, even if I did own the DX Megazord, I sure as hell would not sell it for $13.00. $13 is less than the damn thing sold for when it was originally released and it sure costs a lot more than that now.

I don't know where you've been looking, but it sure isn't everywhere. I realize that eBay is this obscure and mysterious place, but you might consider checking there.

I wouldn't be surprised if there were many examples of the DX Megazord on eBay... though I'm quite sure they'll be more than $13.00.