I think someone else here already ranted on this, but I don't care.

Don't Click Here

This person is very adept and talking about things NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH CARES ABOUT. This site has roughly 10,000 words devoted to ranting about some genetic defect named Daniel Livingston. In fact, I can't even be bothered to wade through this shit to find the good stuff. WE DON'T CARE!

Another thing. LIKING ANIME DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL. Also, STOP using ^^ and ^_^. PLEASE. For the love of God, cut it the fuck out. On the bright side, this anime 'blog' girl actually understand the deep concepts of puctuation and paragraphs to some degree. Thank you. Oh yeah, and Final Fantasy sucks.

Hey, she's a 17 year old girl in Seoul. Doesn't that require random rapings and muggings on a frequent basis? Or am I confusing Seoul with Taipei or Seattle or something?

While I applaud the fact that she actually writes in something that I can recognize as English, the subject matter is trivial and nauseating.

Here's what you can do: GET A TOPIC SOMEONE COULD POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT. Your problems with some loser none of us will EVER encounter doesn't cut the mustard, I'm afraid.

SO QUIT TELLING US ABOUT STUPID SHIT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOUR AUDIENCE IS? DO YOU HAVE ONE?!

Argh!

In case you guys didn't figure it out, I'll spell it out in plain English: no more Letters From The Predator. Instead, I'll just be doing the exact same thing right here in this here 'blog' thing. What's up this week? Well, first off, we have a cool bootleg review from Robat, Maz playing around with an old Choose Your Own Adventure-ish Transformers book, and Tyrant getting all gooey over the first issue of the new Dreamwave Transformers comic. Also, I finally got one of the contest entries from the stupid contest we had about a million years ago up. Don't hurt me. This takes the place of a comic this week because, well, it's a comic. And your usual dose of fiction is here. By the way, does anyone actually READ that?

Now if you will excuse me, I've got to write an apology to Hellbunny for not being able to put up her Soul of Chogokin Aphrodite A article thanks to evil people using the digital camera when I should be using it.

Woohoo! MORE fan mail! We are truly blessed. Ready? 'Cause here we go!
-------------
Date: Tue, 30 Apr 2002 23:51:31 +0100
From: Laurence Muspratt
User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Win98; en-US; rv:0.9.4) Gecko/20011019 Netscape6/6.2
X-Accept-Language: en-us
To: fuckblogs@masterforce.org
Subject: fuck you too
-------------

Okay, folks. That's it. The friendly fan mailer didn't give us any text in his letter. The fun part is that I can't figure out what we did to piss him off. You know... because he doesn't tell us if it was his 'blog' we made fun of, his shitty website, or maybe it was his poorly typed attempt at pedophilia on AIM. Like I said, I'm not really sure because he doesn't bother to tell us why we deserve a 'fuck you too'. Since he put 'fuck you too', I must assume that we said 'fuck you' to him at some point or other. I was going to search through the entries for all the references to 'fuck', but that was a bad idea. After the 50th instance of the word I gave up. Then it occurred to me that since his email was from a bandofmonkies.org.uk address, maybe there's a www.bandofmonkies.org.uk website! Surely enough, there is! Hot damn! Wow! A 'blog'! Now, I don't recall any of us making fun of this particular 'blog'. So I searched our 'blog' for references to it and could find none. This confused me.

Therefore, I emailed him back with the following:

-------------
To: Laurence Muspratt
From: Ginrai
Subject: Re: fuck you too

Fuck us for what, exactly?
-------------

Let's see if he replies. I'm pretty curious about this. :) Maybe I'll post a rant on http://www.bandofmonkies.org.uk/ after I finish updating MFO tonight. BTW, I like their title bar a lot. It goes like this,"Band of F***ing Monkies". Boy howdy. I'll be sure not to mess with f***ing monkies, because those kind are much scarier than regular monkies. How exactly do you pronounce that? Eff-star-star-star-ing Monkies? Maybe they were trying to be badass by swearing like we do or something. I dunno. It loses a lot of the impact when you censor yourself like a cow udder nibbling tool. By the way. It's really lame using the number 3 to represent the letter 'E'. But I guess it's okay because Laur3nce and his band of f***ing monkies are pretty fucking 7331.

Just... just go here.

Half-A-Beard Moron

Tyrant found the site of one of the biggest morons I've ever seen. I bet he looked brilliant out on the slopes with HALF A BEARD! Mooooron. Just go there and laugh at the pictures. Go, this guy are loser.

This guy gets a 9.7 on the Gullible Meter.

xXbigcuteguyXx: hey lil gyrl
sexyhentacle: hi asl
xXbigcuteguyXx: 23/m/fl
sexyhentacle: ah
xXbigcuteguyXx: you lil gyrl?
sexyhentacle: u lik hentai
sexyhentacle: i guess
xXbigcuteguyXx: just the ones with tenicals and lots of cum
xXbigcuteguyXx: you?
sexyhentacle: i like hentai with lots of pussy and breasts
xXbigcuteguyXx wants to directly connect.
xXbigcuteguyXx is now directly connected.
xXbigcuteguyXx: [Insert disgusting hentai picture of some chick being raped or something]
xXbigcuteguyXx: how about something like this?
sexyhentacle: thats not aliens or monster
xXbigcuteguyXx: ever seen la blue?
sexyhentacle: yeah
xXbigcuteguyXx: does this make you wet lil girl?
sexyhentacle: yeah
xXbigcuteguyXx: i can do you like that too lil gyrl
xXbigcuteguyXx: only if your nice...
sexyhentacle: thats cool im nice
xXbigcuteguyXx: how nice are you?
sexyhentacle: rilly nice i have bunnie panties
xXbigcuteguyXx: well if i tied you up like that and make you cum hard
xXbigcuteguyXx: what are you gonna do for me?
sexyhentacle: likc u
xXbigcuteguyXx: you got a picture slut?
sexyhentacle: yeh do u
xXbigcuteguyXx: maybe....let me see yours slut
xXbigcuteguyXx: and maybe i'll make you cum harder
sexyhentacle: [Insert same totally innocent picture of two 15 year old Japanese girls]
sexyhentacle: im on l3r5
sexyhentacle: left
xXbigcuteguyXx: got any nude ones?
sexyhentacle: no sorry
sexyhentacle: on my friend yurikas computer
sexyhentacle: shes the one of the right
xXbigcuteguyXx: ever had sex before slut?
sexyhentacle: yeah
xXbigcuteguyXx: you liked it?
sexyhentacle: a lot
xXbigcuteguyXx: cum hard?
sexyhentacle: the guys cum i dont have a dick
xXbigcuteguyXx: heh
xXbigcuteguyXx: where did he cum?
sexyhentacle: in my hair
sexyhentacle: on on my feet
xXbigcuteguyXx: how'd it happend?
sexyhentacle: he put his xick there and cummed
xXbigcuteguyXx: na...what'd you do
xXbigcuteguyXx: sucked him off?
sexyhentacle: cried
xXbigcuteguyXx: why?
sexyhentacle: my hair was all fucked up and it was al l stuck together and this was on lunch break and i had to go back to class
xXbigcuteguyXx: how old was the guy you fucked?
sexyhentacle: h was my teacher for history
xXbigcuteguyXx: do you fuck alot of your teachers?
sexyhentacle: onl y that one
sexyhentacle: and the janitor
sexyhentacle: i uisally go for foreigners
xXbigcuteguyXx: when did you start fucking lil girl?
sexyhentacle: 12 uears
xXbigcuteguyXx: you fuck guys often?
sexyhentacle: sometinzes girls
sexyhentacle: foriegnz buy me new clotse
xXbigcuteguyXx: how do you like it slut?
sexyhentacle: often
xXbigcuteguyXx: so if i were to get you into a cloest, pulled down my pants
xXbigcuteguyXx: what would you do?
sexyhentacle: do i no u or is this rape
xXbigcuteguyXx: whatever you want it to be
sexyhentacle: not rape
xXbigcuteguyXx: you like swallowing cum?
sexyhentacle: sure
sexyhentacle: it taste like chicke
xXbigcuteguyXx: so if we were fucking.....where would you want me to shoot it than
sexyhentacle: my hair
xXbigcuteguyXx: why'd you like it there slut?
sexyhentacle: it makes my hair shiney1
xXbigcuteguyXx: what's the best sex you had?
sexyhentacle: with my history teaacher
sexyhentacle: and that one foreign guy who spoke german
sexyhentacle: but that was kinda rape
xXbigcuteguyXx: why was it?
sexyhentacle: b/c i told him no but he did it anyway
sexyhentacle: but he bought me lots of clothes aftewards so i geuss its alright
xXbigcuteguyXx: you got anymore pix?
sexyhentacle: no sorry all on yurika's comp
xXbigcuteguyXx: i'll buy you all the clothes you want if you show me some
sexyhentacle: u have to talk to yurika
xXbigcuteguyXx: is she a slut also?
sexyhentacle: shes at school in america for a while she has a bigger harddrifve than me so she has most of the pics there
sexyhentacle: we uaed the pics to show foreignsr so theyll buy us stuff when they come on buzness
xXbigcuteguyXx: is that how you came to fuck your history teacher?
sexyhentacle: no he was going to fail me and i had to pass
xXbigcuteguyXx: so how'd you got him to fuck you slut?
sexyhentacle: is aid ill fuck ut if u pass me
xXbigcuteguyXx: than what happend?
sexyhentacle: he fucked me and ipast
xXbigcuteguyXx: right there and than?
sexyhentacle: no at lunch
sexyhentacle: in the boiler room
xXbigcuteguyXx: why'd you cried?
sexyhentacle: the foriengr made me cry nt
xXbigcuteguyXx: ever been fucked in the ass?
sexyhentacle: yeah
sexyhentacle: foregnsers like that
xXbigcuteguyXx: yea, i fuck you there
xXbigcuteguyXx: u like it when we cum inside u?
sexyhentacle: suire but someontiesm it makes me have to shit
xXbigcuteguyXx: what if i cum in your cunt?
sexyhentacle: i dont let pl do that i might get pregnant
xXbigcuteguyXx: so if i was fucking your cunt and about to cum
xXbigcuteguyXx: what would you do?
sexyhentacle: push u off
sexyhentacle: and sick on yu
xXbigcuteguyXx: you parents know you do this slut?
sexyhentacle: my dad tryed to rape me
xXbigcuteguyXx: you liked that?
sexyhentacle: no
sexyhentacle: but itz his falt
xXbigcuteguyXx: why?
sexyhentacle: he trye tio rape me
sexyhentacle: my mther kicked him out
sexyhentacle: were pooior now becuiz of that
xXbigcuteguyXx: what'd he do that was like rape?
sexyhentacle: he trid to fuck me stupid
xXbigcuteguyXx: alright slut
xXbigcuteguyXx: so how often do you fuck?
sexyhentacle: usally a few times a motnh somtims more if a forienger wants to buy me lots and lots of close
xXbigcuteguyXx: u use any protection?
sexyhentacle: wats thgat
xXbigcuteguyXx: forget it
xXbigcuteguyXx: u like it when i cum on your face?
sexyhentacle: sure
xXbigcuteguyXx: want to fuck me
xXbigcuteguyXx: i'll buy you clothes
sexyhentacle: ru in japan
xXbigcuteguyXx: America
xXbigcuteguyXx: i go there a few times on buesness
sexyhentacle: aim when uy get here
xXbigcuteguyXx: i only have around 20,000 when i travel
xXbigcuteguyXx: US dollars
sexyhentacle: 20,000 yen?
sexyhentacle: oh.
sexyhentacle: is that a lot
xXbigcuteguyXx: is that enought?
xXbigcuteguyXx: for you slut
sexyhentacle: i dont no can you buy lots of close with that id ont no america money
xXbigcuteguyXx: alright...so you live with your mom?
sexyhentacle: yeh
sexyhentacle: in tokyo
xXbigcuteguyXx: she know you fuck guys?
sexyhentacle: roppongi
sexyhentacle: yeh i told u were poor
xXbigcuteguyXx: does she do it too?
sexyhentacle: yeah
xXbigcuteguyXx: you got a picture of her slut?
sexyhentacle: no
sexyhentacle: my moms kinda old anyway
xXbigcuteguyXx: fine...i like young girls anyway
xXbigcuteguyXx: so how'd you fuck the janitor?
sexyhentacle: he stole some ones purse and had lots of mny that day
xXbigcuteguyXx: so how'd you get him to fuck you
sexyhentacle: i lifted my skrit at him
xXbigcuteguyXx: how old was he?
sexyhentacle: i duont no he has grey hair
sexyhentacle: i got desighers clotse out ofhim
xXbigcuteguyXx: good for you
xXbigcuteguyXx: ever fuck for fun?
sexyhentacle: not eally
xXbigcuteguyXx: how do you like being fucked slut?
sexyhentacle: uh in ghd bugg
xXbigcuteguyXx: what if i fuck you in your cunt?
sexyhentacle: i told u id push u away u cant cum there
xXbigcuteguyXx: how bout if i cum like that on you?
sexyhentacle: i guess that owuld be oky
sexyhentacle: my nipples dont look like cow udders tho
xXbigcuteguyXx: can i cum like that?
sexyhentacle: no i might get pregnat
xXbigcuteguyXx: i'll buy you alot of clothes
sexyhentacle: not worth if it get pregnint
xXbigcuteguyXx: okay okay....just suck me off than
sexyhentacle: if u come to tokyo
xXbigcuteguyXx: how will you fuck me than?
sexyhentacle: wit ass
xXbigcuteguyXx: can you handle a big cock?
sexyhentacle: i think so
xXbigcuteguyXx: what's the biggest you had?
sexyhentacle: im not sure dont have a ruler
xXbigcuteguyXx: do you like it big?
sexyhentacle: as long as does not hurt
xXbigcuteguyXx: u an only child?
sexyhentacle: yeah
xXbigcuteguyXx: who was last person you fucked?
sexyhentacle: some foreigner
xXbigcuteguyXx: ever fucked more than one guy at a time?
sexyhentacle: no forigers are embarrased around others
xXbigcuteguyXx: you only fuck at school?
sexyhentacle: no
xXbigcuteguyXx: where else?
sexyhentacle: bathroom
xXbigcuteguyXx: they fuck you as long as they want or what?
sexyhentacle: depends how much money
xXbigcuteguyXx: feeling wet slut?
sexyhentacle: not anymore
xXbigcuteguyXx: what are you doing now?
sexyhentacle: talking 2 u duh
sexyhentacle: ru stupid or something
sexyhentacle: talk bitch
xXbigcuteguyXx: hahah alright
xXbigcuteguyXx: so you got any hentai pix?
sexyhentacle: not on computer
xXbigcuteguyXx: why not?
xXbigcuteguyXx: how do you get horny than
sexyhentacle: actual guys
sexyhentacle: duh
sexyhentacle: u really r stupid aren't u
xXbigcuteguyXx: smart enought to afford good clothes slut
sexyhentacle: well. gotta go masturbate. i am actually a 40 year old man in new jersey.
xXbigcuteguyXx: nice
sexyhentacle: my wife is gonna be home soon.
sexyhentacle: been fun chatting with you.
sexyhentacle: bye
xXbigcuteguyXx direct connection is closed.

Secret message to xXbigcuteguyXx: YOU ARE DUMB.

I love Legos. Check out this little site Tyrant showed me.

Creative Blasphemy To Found Within

These guys are going straight to Hell. I love the naked Adam and Eve, but where's the hot, steamy Lego sex?

Oh! Right here! http://www.thereverend.com/brick_testament/instructions_on_marriage/1co07_01-02.html

That is great. Giving Lego head...

The only way this site could be better is if it had Lego Revelations.

I would pay good money to see that.

We are soooo doomed.

Tyrant went here, so I knew I had to follow.

Peter Pan Is Evil

This man has some serious gender confusion issues. Either that or he's a pedophile.

See, there's essentially two versions of Peter Pan. You've got the musical stage show and the movie based on it and you've go the Disney cartoon. In the musical Peter Pan is played by a chick. In the Disney cartoon Peter Pan is a little boy. And let me tell you, this flamboyantly homosexual man is not Mary Martin. He's not even Cathy Rigby.

WAIT! SUDDEN THOUGHT! Maybe his desire to play Peter Pan is an outcropping of lusting after Robin Williams circa Hook! Yes! That could be it! The incredibly hairy chimpanzee look must turn him on!

No. I changed my mind. Pedophile it is. "Look, kiddies, I'm your hero Peter Pan! Come back to my place for milk and cookies!"

And check this out "Donations Now accepted... ...to help with the costs of maintaining this site, while raising money for children's charities."

Tell you what. I'll give you money to CLOSE your site and I'll give some directly to children who need it. Alternately, I can write you a check for One (1) Ass-Kicking, Courtesy Masterforce.org made payable Randy Constan. Sound like a plan?

The Tyrant showed me the following site.

I Almost Shit My Pants When I Clicked On This Link

Good fucking God. Is this shit for real? Can you believe this? The title is 'A prince in search of a princess'. And then there's this picture... I don't know what the hell that's a picture of, but it sure as fuck ain't a man. My intial thought was that it was a really ugly crossdresser wearing a fake mustache. But then there's the beard. And what the FUCK is that on his/her/its' head?! That HAS to be a wig, right?

And then he/she/it's ranting how he/she/it's a singer and sold many records. What, your mother buys 800 copies of everything you make? Is she so independently wealthy that she can afford that many copies of the same thing? Wait. I changed my mind. I don't think that THING has a mother. That has to be some bizarre experiment with splicing human DNA with a warthog or something.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING WEARING? Michael Jackson wouldn't be caught wearing that shit, and he was the guy with the denim jacket that had forks sewn onto it.

It says, "I am searching for a girlfriend. The picture on the left is me. Aren't I very sexy?"

Answer: GOD IN HEAVEN NO. I suspect "I am searching for a girlfriend" translates into "I am an evil alien space monster seeking a warm body to implant my eggs into. The victim must be young and strong so that she'll live through the birth process (i.e., little monsters ripping through her stomach) long enough for the babies to be born. Oh yes, and strong enough so that the victim's neck wont break when I ram my ovapositor down their throat. I also do bar mitzvahs."

Let's switch over to Scatman of Eat Tokyo! fame briefly for his comments: I think this fellow is mentally ill - no kidding, either. You can also quote me that he's obviously repressing his homosexuality. Yeah. He looked gay, too (no insults to gay people, either). And I mean that literally. Either that or possibly bi.

Back to me. This really has to be a sick joke. The government has to be putting us on. This can't be real. Then I click the pictures link. OH MY GOD. He looks like a 70's female pop singer... or more like an Asian Ru Paul impersonating one. And a right click on the picture gets you the following charming message: "Asian Prince is so HOT!!" This is wrong on so many levels it makes the very soul quake with fear and anguish. When I started vomitting up internal organs I decided it was time to click something else.

I clicked the vehicles link, and before I knew it I was laughing so hard my intestines shot out my nose. Well. Not really. But if felt like it. "This is one of my many vehicles. It may look like an ordinary van, but it is very heavily modified. My sexy friend, Laura said it's sexy. I had the backseats removed and a very comfortable bed installed! Also, I made it virtually sound-proof! These options cost me a lot of money, but I have lots to spend." Riiight. Translation: I am a big fucking queen. Homo homo gay gay gay. Gay van. Homo homo. I am gay. Gay. Rich. Gay."

You've got to understand, folks, this is like Little Richard trying to convince you he wants your pussy. It's just not believable. I bet homosexuality as an entity is disgusted by this ... person. Probably the gay community kicked him out. They were probably in denial. I bet they thought, "There's no WAY this guy can be one of us. Get him the fuck out of here." So they trained him to say he was straight. Or maybe this is a public relations scheme. Maybe the gay community wants to go, "Look! We're not so weird after all! Check that guy out! He's straight! Everyone point and laugh!" Whatever, guys.

So then I clicked on Possible Dates against my better judgement and found a highly amusing statement. Ready? "I am not gay, so guys, don't bother sending in your picture. As a punishment for thinking I'm gay, I posted a picture of this man, named Dustin. He is in the Possibly Gay Men section. If you ever seen him, now you know he's gay! Don't send in pictures if you're a guy, or you'll face the same punishment as him!"

Yeah. Because I'm sure the readership of this website is so high that EVERYONE Dustin ever met now know he's gay. Also, I hate to doubt you, Asian Prince, but you're lacking a little credibility in that department. The only way your attire could appear MORE flamboyantly homosexual was if you had "I AM GAY" written out in giant letters (made of shiney gold sequins) on your jacket. I'm not sure I believe you when you try to call other people gay.

Moving on to the actual "possible princesses" section there's the expected assortment of Hollywood starlets and then some INCREDIBLY UGLY PEOPLE. This one 'woman' was obviously a man with a wig and lips the size of the Empire State Building, wearing enough eyeliner to paint the ass of an elephant. The overall effect is sheer horror. It's like the first time you watched the footage of the plane slamming into the WTC. And then the very last picture is clearly the risen corpse of one of the Golden Girls lusting for the taste of brains and honey. It's a Honey of an Ooooo, it's Honey Brains Cheerios!

Either this guy got a bunch of joke submissions from some cruel pranksters (who I want to join this 'blog' RIGHT NOW) or he/she/it spent a day typing 'sexy princess' into Google's image search and downloaded every picture he/she/it found.

I also like how Dustin "Screech" Diamond is at the top of the Possibly Gay Men page. This has to fake.

Now that my brain is irrevocably scarred, it's time to move on to the 'blog' section of this sick, sick excuse for a person's website.

He/she/it says, "Since I am the Asian Prince, it is important to document moments of my life. I am truly living life like a prince."

I reply: Since I am Ginrai, it is important for me to tell you to GET THE FUCK OFF OUR PLANET, EVIL SPACE CREATURE! WE DON'T WANT YOUR KIND HERE! INS IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS! GO BACK TO PLANET ZABOFULA OR WHERE EVER THE FUCK YOU ARE FROM. P.S. No one cares how you are living, freak.

"Wow, it has been about two months since I`ve written about my thoughts."

As with most 'blogs', this piece of shit is convinced we care how long its been since he shit all over the Internet. WHY?! WHY?! AM I BEING PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING?!

"As promised, I shall write about what happened during Valentine`s Day. I won`t give the exact details of what happened, because I don`t want to give out some of my secrets of seduction."

Secrets of seduction? What, are we talking roofies? Novacaine? Morphine? Chloroform?

"Valentine`s Day was spent with a very beautiful princess. I spontaneously showed up at her work and brought her to my mansion."

A more realistic take on this: "Valentine's Day was spent with a very beautiful princess. I showed up at the local 7-11, took one look after her, and spontaneously ejected my load of alien acid sperm all over the store. I was arresed and the local police brought me back to THEIR mansion. I was anally raped 74901293019237012937102983091823 times that night, often by three or four inmates at once."

"On the way to my place, I told her to put on a blindfold."

Translation: I kidnapped a girl, bound, gagged, blindfolded her, and dragged her back to my ramshackle hut in southern Alabama that I constructed entirely out of rotting wood.

"She couldn`t wait to see what I had in store for her. I was whispering to her what I was going to do later on. Of course she wanted to go to the backseat with me."

I beat her over the head about five times with a 2x4. I was whispering to her about how I was going to kill her after I raped her with my ovapositor. Of course she wanted to squirm into the backseat in a sad attempt to escape, but my 2x4 put a quick end to her struggles."

"We pulled up to my place and went inside. I set up a trail of candles leading to my bedroom. I told her to take off the blindfold. She was very very excited."

We pulled up to my place and I dragged her unconscious body inside. I set up a trail of empty vodka bottles leading to my bedroom. Well. 'Set up a trail' is kind of misleading. That's just sort of where they landed when I threw them after I finished them off. I pulled the blindfold off of her. She was drooling and mumbling incoherently.

"We followed the trail of candles. I could hear her heartbeat as she saw my bed covered in rose petals. She then turned to me. I looked directly in her eyes and gave her a slow, long kiss. She was trembling as soon as our lips touched."

I followed the trail of empty bottles dragging her body. I dumped her on a half rotted beanbag I fished out of a sewer. I waved some smelling salts under her nose and she woke up coughing and sputtering. Intense fear showed in her eyes. Before she could run I punched her in the stomach and gave her a long, slow kiss. She was trembling with animal fear as soon as our lips touched.

"I gave her an orgasm by kissing."

BULL FUCKING SHIT. This proves he's gay. No woman in the history of the world has ever had an orgasm from kissing, unless by kissing you mean sucking on her clitoris. Furthermore, no man would WANT a girl to orgasm from a kiss. Why? Then he wouldn't get to penetrate her. Duh.

"You all know where this is heading. Three hours later, we had dinner in bed."

You all know where this is heading. I hacked her head off and ate her internal organs in bed.

Okay. I can't possibly handle another fucking day in the life of this delusional crackhead. That being the case, I clicked on the music link. There's a couple of great pics of two seperate lynch mobs trying to kill him/her/it. I guess we're supposed to believe they're proof of his/her/its musical super stardom. I idiotically clicked the link for his song.

WHAT THE HELL? Dyslexic homosexual rap over a three second loop of drums and a 'concert sounds' loop while someone stands on a cheap Casio keyboard? This guy must be rich as hell. I bet everyone loves this shit. Where's my baseball bat? I have to destroy my fingers so I can never ever visit a site like this again, even on accident.

I can't take anymore of this.

Prince nothing... God save the queen... he ain't no human being.

Here was another adventure with sexyhentacle. We ran into this strange boy who claimed to enjoy fucking dogs. When I was in high school there was this persistent rumor that one of my friend's ex-boyfriends fucked a dog after she dumped him. Maybe this guy wasn't lying.

DoggyPorker: a/s/l?
sexyhentacle: hi asl
DoggyPorker: 17/m/ky
sexyhentacle: 14'f/japan
DoggyPorker: cool
sexyhentacle: do u pic
DoggyPorker: not of myself sorry
sexyhentacle: aww
DoggyPorker: you?
DoggyPorker: guess not
sexyhentacle: i do
DoggyPorker: can i see?
sexyhentacle: ok
sexyhentacle wants to directly connect.
DoggyPorker is now directly connected.
sexyhentacle: [Insert totally innocent pic of two 15 year old Japanese school girls]
sexyhentacle: im on left
DoggyPorker: very cute:-)
sexyhentacle: tx
DoggyPorker: unless you like really freaky stuff dont look in my info lol
sexyhentacle: whatz there
DoggyPorker: some pics of girls and dogs
sexyhentacle: ew
sexyhentacle: do you like fucking dogs
DoggyPorker: lmao i know
DoggyPorker: i like watching girls do it
sexyhentacle: ew im not doing that
DoggyPorker: i know its gross
sexyhentacle: y do u like it
DoggyPorker: i dont really know its just really kinky for some reason
sexyhentacle: do u lik fuking them in the ass while they fuck dogsx
DoggyPorker: ive never really did too much mainly just look at it
sexyhentacle: ur virgin
DoggyPorker: nope
sexyhentacle: lol
DoggyPorker: you?
sexyhentacle: tell me about who u fuckd
sexyhentacle: no
DoggyPorker: you wont know them i swear
DoggyPorker: lol
sexyhentacle: no just tell the story
sexyhentacle: did you doi it in the pool
sexyhentacle: or int he doghouse
sexyhentacle: or the garage
DoggyPorker: ive messed around in a pool and in a garage
sexyhentacle: details!
DoggyPorker: and in my old g/f dads bed
sexyhentacle: a real pool or a kiddie pool
DoggyPorker: real
sexyhentacle: was he home
DoggyPorker: nooooooo
DoggyPorker: her uncle did come over once
sexyhentacle: he cum on u ew!
DoggyPorker: no no no i was naked hiding in her closet
sexyhentacle: with his uncle?!
DoggyPorker: nope sorry
DoggyPorker: with her dog;-)
sexyhentacle: u fuked her dog! WOW
DoggyPorker: no not really but i have done it
sexyhentacle: u would fucik a dog
DoggyPorker: yeah i guess so
sexyhentacle: and you have fucked a dog before
DoggyPorker: O:-)
sexyhentacle: did the dog scream
DoggyPorker: nope
sexyhentacle: did it bleed on u
DoggyPorker: no she has had pups be4
sexyhentacle: u got her pregnant i thought that coldnt happen
DoggyPorker: not me another dog and it cant happen
sexyhentacle: oh
DoggyPorker: lmao
sexyhentacle: u ever fucked a pig
sexyhentacle: or a cow
sexyhentacle: or a goat
sexyhentacle: or a cat
DoggyPorker: nope just dog
sexyhentacle: or a hampster
sexyhentacle: isnt that cruelty to aminals in america
DoggyPorker: u?
sexyhentacle: i never did that to animals
DoggyPorker: there are no laws againist it and i wont dog it if the dog doesnt want to, and you can tell if they want to
DoggyPorker: still there?
sexyhentacle: im here
DoggyPorker: cool brb i have to goto the bathroom
sexyhentacle: do you eve n like himans
DoggyPorker: i love humans
DoggyPorker: more than dogs
sexyhentacle: then y ru doggyporker and not humanporker
DoggyPorker: i made this name out of bordem and curiosity (however you spell that)
sexyhentacle: sure
DoggyPorker: you got any more pics?
sexyhentacle: no my friend yurika has more on her comp
DoggyPorker: ohh
DoggyPorker: Click here, I dare you pussy :þ
DoggyPorker: chicken shit
sexyhentacle: clikc here i dare u!
DoggyPorker: got my ip get
sexyhentacle: huh
DoggyPorker: then why was i dared to click that
sexyhentacle: cuz u dared
sexyhentacle: i dared back
DoggyPorker: but you didnt click mine
sexyhentacle: how do u no
DoggyPorker: cause i do
sexyhentacle: sure
DoggyPorker: wait dont click it im sorry i was in the wrong message
DoggyPorker: i got my ims messed up
sexyhentacle: okay
DoggyPorker: if you were to have clicked it it would have crashed aim thats how i know you didnt click it
sexyhentacle: thats why ididnt clikc it
DoggyPorker: cool
sexyhentacle: my link wont crash url
DoggyPorker: i clicked it
DoggyPorker: hentai rocks by the way (i read your info)
sexyhentacle: cool
sexyhentacle: what shows u like
DoggyPorker: anything funny really
sexyhentacle: funny hentai
DoggyPorker: they dont have that on tv here:-(
sexyhentacle: aWW here its on at night on tv
DoggyPorker: are tv sux here
DoggyPorker: *our
sexyhentacle: soundz that way
sexyhentacle: tv in japn is kewl
DoggyPorker: i wish i could get it even though i wont understand it
sexyhentacle: u get subtitld
DoggyPorker: wow cool sign me up
sexyhentacle: get wimx
DoggyPorker: whats that or do you mean winmx
sexyhentacle: yeah
DoggyPorker: is it on there
sexyhentacle: i think so
DoggyPorker: i check that out later
sexyhentacle: uh huh
DoggyPorker: i will i swear
DoggyPorker: i have ever seen a pic of a girl getting done by a dog? (just wondering)
sexyhentacle: huh?
sexyhentacle: that does nto make sense
DoggyPorker: have you ever seen a picture of a dog screwing a girl?
sexyhentacle: no dont want to
DoggyPorker: thats cool i was just wondering i wont talk about it again
DoggyPorker direct connection is closed.
DoggyPorker: bye i guess
sexyhentacle: ok enjoy that dog ass
DoggyPorker: not ass pussy
sexyhentacle: whats asspussy
DoggyPorker: not in the ass in the pussy
sexyhentacle: u have a pussy im confused
DoggyPorker: no the dog i fucked did
sexyhentacle: did the dog bleed a lot
DoggyPorker: not at all
sexyhentacle: did it try to bite u
DoggyPorker: no she stood perfectly still and moaned a couple of times
sexyhentacle: dogs can moan?
DoggyPorker: more like a grunt so yeah sorts
DoggyPorker: 8sorta
sexyhentacle: not a whine
DoggyPorker: no not a whine
sexyhentacle: a howl
DoggyPorker: no and not a growl either
sexyhentacle: a bark
DoggyPorker: not that its hard to expain
sexyhentacle: ok
sexyhentacle: u sure ur not gay
DoggyPorker: never been with a guy and never will be
sexyhentacle: ever bee in a 3sum with a dog and a girl
DoggyPorker: yeah
sexyhentacle: did she lick the dogs shitty asshole
DoggyPorker: not lol
sexyhentacle: ever eat dog food or dog shit
DoggyPorker: nope
DoggyPorker: u?
sexyhentacle: no
sexyhentacle: i figured if u fuckd dogs u might eat their shit
DoggyPorker: shit plays not my thing at all
sexyhentacle: have u seen ur mom naked
DoggyPorker: no
DoggyPorker: u?
sexyhentacle: sure im a girl duh
sexyhentacle: ru stupid
DoggyPorker: oh yeah
sexyhentacle: hva u seen ur dadydy naked
DoggyPorker: no my friend and her mom were always in the bathroom together
DoggyPorker: no
sexyhentacle: were u in the bathrrom with ur friend and her mom
DoggyPorker: no:-( lol
sexyhentacle: have u ever fucked a teacher
DoggyPorker: no but i had 1 i wanted to
sexyhentacle: ur gym teacher
DoggyPorker: never took gym
sexyhentacle: ur home economics calass
DoggyPorker: never took that either
sexyhentacle: in math class
DoggyPorker: science teacher
sexyhentacle: did he have a beard
sexyhentacle: qould ur cum get caught in his beard
DoggyPorker: no SHE didnt
sexyhentacle: would u fucck a girl in the eyesocket into her brain
DoggyPorker: ummm.... no
sexyhentacle: hiow about in her ass
DoggyPorker: ill give anal
sexyhentacle: how about if they chain you to a chair and slap u around al lot first
DoggyPorker: never done it so i dont know
sexyhentacle: can i call u
DoggyPorker: i dont do phone sorry:-(
sexyhentacle: aw ur a fucker
DoggyPorker: not a fucker just dont phone
sexyhentacle: ur a faoggt arent u
DoggyPorker: no but im starting to wonder about you
sexyhentacle: are u calli me a lesbian u asshoel
DoggyPorker: nope but that could be cool lol
DoggyPorker: O:-)
sexyhentacle: i dont lik girl
sexyhentacle: ur mean
DoggyPorker: thats cool i was just messing with you
DoggyPorker: no im not mean, why do you say that
sexyhentacle: ur bein mean
DoggyPorker: im sorry i didnt mean to be
sexyhentacle: yeh u did
sexyhentacle: i hate u now faggot
DoggyPorker: :-* no you would know
DoggyPorker: :-\
sexyhentacle: fuck off
DoggyPorker: bye
sexyhentacle: u suck
DoggyPorker: didnt mean too
sexyhentacle: i bet ur gay dog fucker
DoggyPorker: dog fucker maybe gay not one your life
DoggyPorker: *on
sexyhentacle: wih ur 2 inch fagit dick
DoggyPorker: 2 AND A HALF
sexyhentacle: i new u were like 12
sexyhentacle: ru on daddys computer
DoggyPorker: doubt that but i bet you are
DoggyPorker: my pc is better than daddy
sexyhentacle: but my dadd y liks it
DoggyPorker: likes what
sexyhentacle: u no what dog fucker
DoggyPorker: tell me
sexyhentacle: i bet no one lives u
DoggyPorker: think whatever you want
sexyhentacle: i bet ur a lnoely nerd in the basement whoze like 10 and all the other kids push u down at skool
DoggyPorker: ok can i be mean now?? plz
sexyhentacle: fuck u

And then we blocked him. :)