Well, I was going to tell you, gentle readers, about Walnut Creek before, but I didn't, so now I will.

Last weekend I had to go to my mom's house in the evil-ruled land of Tracy in the Hell-like central valley of California. However, I had to come back on Sunday. My mom had a concert at a church in Walnut Creek, and to save her from driving in the morning to Walnut Creek and then coming back to Tracy and then going all the way to San Francisco and dropping me off with my new comfy computer chair, Hellbunny and I opted to go with her and bum around Walnut Creek for a few hours while she did her concert at the Catholic church there. Keep that bit in mind, it becomes important later.

So we go there, and after dropping my mom off, go downtown. (Well, it took us a minute to find downtown, plus we had to stop at Target so Hellbunny could buy more Hello Kitty shirts.) Once we got there we found a mall that was not a mall. It was actually a giant parking structure connected to a Macy's that was unconnected to shitty other stores. When we asked where the bookstore was, the chick working there told us to go in completely the wrong direction. Thanks.

We went to 7-11 and got cheap sushi and green tea, and the sushi was astonishingly actually pretty good. So, lost, we wandered around for a while and just when we gave up and got back into the car we found fucking Barnes & Nobel. So we went in there, and they had nothing good. So we left and got food, never found the other bookstore, and gave ourselves an hour to find the church again. Despite leaving so early to find the church (after getting gas) we drove around for AN HOUR AND A HALF.

We asked a million people for directions and most of them had trouble with the concept of what a church even was. Most of the rest had no idea if there were even any churches in Walnut Creek. We didn't think to ask for the CATHOLIC church, so we got sent to a lot of stupid, weird ass churches like Church of the Mighty Phallus and such, before we at last found a guy and his wife who are among my heroes right now, because they, bless their hearts, knew where the catholic church was. We got my mom, and they had brownies and watermelon for us waiting! And my mom wasn't even furious that we'd kept her waiting there for half an hour!

But the real reason Walnut Creek sucks is that it's full of snooty rich people in their BMWs and Mercedes who think that if you're driving a BMW or a Mercedes you have the right of way over people driving anything made by Ford. And that people in Fords damn well better know to get out of your way and/or stop for you. So we had a bunch of lunatics cutting us off, trying to slam into us, or otherwise endangering our lives every minute. I mean it.

It's not like the usual bay area situation where you have people trying to plow into you because they have no idea where they are or how to drive. This was all the rich people there treating all the not-so-rich people like shit. Constantly. I wanted to get out and beat the fuck out of them and piss all over the interior of their fancy schancy ass beamers.

Not that you'd know, though, because it's not airing in Europe...

d00d, MonK3y/C453Y, 1dLinG on t3h Mu5H(e$) 4nd 19NOR1N9 mE IS n0T El1Te. in F@C+, 1+'S f0r l4MEr5.

In other news, today sucks ass so far.

Dude, tell everyone you're an anarchist and steal their toys as a blow at society.

I'm HuNgry, Yoy0. i'M N0+ Ju5+ R3GUl4R HUn9rY, +H0Ugh, 1'm L33t HUn9Ry.

\/\/oR5|-|Ip 0r84|\|, c45+ro, @|\||) s|-|4fT.

Don't mean to be irritating, but I need to do a little televangelism. It's pretty hard for me to pay for Masterforce.org's server costs, and I've been doing so all by myself since I first moved the site from free hosts to Masterforce.org. If folks enjoy the site, I'd appreciate it if you could donate even a couple of bucks to help pay the server costs. I am an unemployed college student and that means I'm pooooor. If someone donates some large amount I'll even send you a free Transformer or something, okay? It costs me $50 a quarter to keep the site up, as well as the yearly domain registration fees. Please help! Thanks guys!

Here's another interesting fact: In truth, today Mario (of Nintendo fame) is more well known than Mickey Mouse. Chew on that, Disney.

SET ME ON FIRE! KEROSENE!

We rock so much! After our anti-'blog' crusading convinces many of our targets to quit polluting the Internet, swayed by our very deep and moving McPr0naldland, McDonald's has decided to end the era of Ronald McDonald. YES! Here's the proof.

MFO: 2

The Rest of the World: 0

---------------------------

Take that, motherfuckers.

I wasn't going to post anything more about this godforsaken date, when one of my overzealous teachers forced more shit down my throat. Therefore, I have for you a reaction to his bullshit.

Cramming 9/11 down our throats sucks. First of all, I have a long-standing revulsion to wasting class time on unrelated nonsense. Going to college has magnified this revulsion, because now I am paying for this class time, and wasting it on unrelated bullshit is wasting my money.

My Intro to Filmmaking teacher today decided to commemorate a mass killing by playing part of a self-righteous radio documentary billed as a 'Sonic Memorial'. It mostly contained bullshit poetry, music, and other such tripe inspired by the massacre. You know how I hate stupid high school 'Woe is me, no girls like me' poetry perpetrated on an unsuspecting world by an unskilled, uncouth, barely literate cretin? Yeah. Lots of that. And some really, really terrible hip hop about it. Picture some mammoth black dude rappin' bout' da dubya tee cee, yoyo. Ugh. [Shudder].

There was also some terrible folk music. I'm normally repelled by most folk music and want to club the jackasses who sit around campus with their acoustic guitars playing two chords over and over again attracting crowds of glassed-eye onlookers who think that any time someone attacks an innocent instrument it's suddenly beautiful, meaningful music. Add this WTC "memorial" doublespeak to it and you get a Ginrai who is physically sick.

Now, I have a message for all the school boards, program directors, media moguls, website authors, and whoever else is forcing this excrement back into our mouths:

You sick, masochistic mohterfuckers. Why must you drag me through your twisted obsession with horror? Too many times have I been awakened prematurely to find tragedy waiting. I don't need this vomitted back at me. Keep your bile to yourself. Don't spray it on me.

It was bad enough once. My life has never been particularly connected to New York City, true, but the shit splattered far that day, which is just what the morons behind the strike intended.

Every time someone writes some shitty poetry, the murderers win. With every tear, every sigh, every fucked up, shit sucking memory they gain strength. Fuck your memories. FORGET. Ignore that day and the morons who stupidly gave their lives to commit murder on a grand scale.

Remember anyone you knew. Forget how they died. Remember their lives, but not on the day they died. Remember on the anniversary of day they were born. Remember on the anniversary of when their children were born. Then the brainless fanatics behind their deaths don't get shit. They have no power, no life, no anything. Don't honor a mass murder, you twisted motherfuckers. What's wrong with you? Do you hear me?

The teacher then showed us a television ad spot put out around Thanksgiving by JP Morgan and associated assholes to be a "memorial". It showed a bunch of school pictures of the dead coalescing into an American flag all set to the tune of 'Amazing Grace'. First of all, this was a blantant attempt at publicity by JP Morgan capitalizing on A BUNCH OF MURDERS! Can you believe the audacity? You may recall that the company was started by a proud monopolist named who just happened to be named JP Morgan. He was one of the filthy "barons of industry" that the trust busters were fighting. This is the sort of corperate greed that all the American politicians are ranting about.

Furthermore, note the jingoist use of the American flag and the use of a steadfastly Christian song. ('If you don't hate anyone who is not 100% gung ho, kill for America, I'm a good Christian, then you are siding with murderers'.) This sickens me.

Then we got a hamfisted speech from our WASP teacher about racial tolerance. He finished this little speech off by saying that this event was, "for [him], but it's also for you." Yeah, this was for me alright. BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS.

This mandantory waste of class time is bullshit, and furthermore, exactly the sort of thing desired by the twisted sons of bitches who thought it would be a good idea to murder as many of us as possible. THEY WANT YOU TO REMEMBER. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!

I had a dream last night about Walnut Creek. Fucking Walnut Creek. WALNUT CREEK IS LAME! Bah. Well, I'll tell you what I remember of the dream when I get back from class.

In other news, we're working on a new contest for MFO. Well, Broom is, really. I'm just sitting around trying to avoid school work. Anyhow... Off to class, yoyo.

Maz had a long rant prepared but the blog ate it. Oops. Well, here. I'm going to try to reconstruct it out of Maz's pained rantings about it after the blog chewed it up and spit it out. Here we go! This is what happened to Maz, not me. I just turned it from droolings on a MUSH to a real life rant.

"The evilest fruit is rhubarb. Shit, is that even a fruit? Whatever the heck it is, it's dead evil.

This week has been shit.

I found out the seller who's sending me the Microchange Reflector model kit I won in his auction is a moron. He broke the goddamn thing because he picked it up for me from his friend in a carrier bag.

Then, I got stung for $80. Guess how? Import fees! Oh yes. I had to pay $80 just to get my Police Sideswipe and I'm totally broke as a result.

Get this. My monitor and speakers on my PC are close to death.

I was going to get some pictures of Japanese TFs for Techrat so he could make his list more accurate. The guy that was going to get them for me asked me why I wanted them, so naturally I told him. He obviously thought Techrat's list wasn't a good enough reason, so he's not sending me the pics after all. Great.

Then I lost my mate in Australia's number. It was her birthday, and I even phoned her parents like the day before and they weren't in, so she probably thinks I forgot. Her email is a bust, too.

And I went on a date of sorts yesterday and it sucked to high heaven and back!

Jesus, what a fucking week.

She's a girl I've known for a while now. She's from Hong Kong. I thought there was something on there, but boy did I get the wrong idea. She's totally obsessed with my mate and has been for at least three years. I thought she was past it. My bad.

Thankfully, she still seems blissfully unaware of how I felt, so business as usual, I guess.

She wasn't using me to get close to my mate, either. They always hang out. He knows how she feels, but he's not into her. She knows that but can't get over it.

I do often go out with just one friend, because I have a lot of different groups and they don't hang out with each other. I only have about five or six people that I hang out with the most, my real friends.

The UK sucks. Yesterday we had a fucking torrential downpour and I got drenched to the bone TWICE.

Hellbunny commented, 'Hey maz! We have to deal with a bunch of hyper sensitive 'terrorist are coming' on 9-11 shit in the USA.'

I know. I saw it on the news. I'm doing my best to avoid anything pertaining to last year's events. I took it badly enough at the time. Don't need any reminders. What a shit week. September is always hell."

Well, that's the end of my attempt to save Maz's rant.

One parting thought. I'm doing the same thing as Maz. Watching an airplane crash into a building once was plenty. This bullshit about 'we will always remember'... Kiss my ass.

I don't want to remember.

Okay guys, MFO is up. Tyrant has fun with the Internet and shows us more stupid shit she has, Robat plays with his new toy, Armada Starscream, Maz writes for Robat (ShH! He's secretly in love with him!), and Hellbunny gushes about the sci-fi show LEXX!

We also have two bits of fiction for you which are the latest chapters of Bippy and Robots In Disguise, and to top if off, we have transcribed more chapters of The Orbanic Havana Holy Scriptures! Enjoy!

Oh yes, before I forget, I would like to thank all 7 of you who went to mp3.com and checked out my music. THANK YOU! You guys rock.

But comments would rock even HARDER.

I recently got an email from a mailing list I'm on (hi Autocon), and it mentioned the following site:

www.angelfire.com/az3/transtopia

No, I'm not going to make that a link because the site is ass.

I wrote the following response to the mailing list and damned it if didn't sound like my old anti-'blog' tirades, so here, have it.

To quote the email from Autocon: "I've done some searching and found out that the other meetup member in Tucson is a girl, about late teens-early twenties I guess. I'm only basing that on the content of her website, which you guys can check out here if you want to hazard a guess at her age"

Late teens early twenties? Jesus Christ. MFO is (mostly) late teens-early twenties. We are obsessed with sex, alcohol, and loud music. THAT is late teens-early twenties. Her site reminds me of junior high scribblings... yeesh. (I also assume Transtopia is short for Transformers Dystopia, because ... yuck.) And while I do realize that I'm an overcritical, jackass snob, some people were complaining that I haven't been ranting enough lately. Allow me to rectify that. I'm sure you'll be sick of me again soon.

I dunno. Maybe she's cute. Of course, cute with a personality that is about as inviting as nails in your eyeballs (I mean the long metal sharp kind, not the long painted red on the end of fingers kind), so...

While I'm being an elitist pig, Third Eye Blind is a shitty band and their stupid song 'Semi-Charmed Life' is really fucking annoying. Even if they're a local band, even if their singer used his fame to buy his way to Japan and get groupies to hunt down Japanese toys for him, even if he used to work at Kimono My House (a nearby toy shoppe) and even if he's a cool guy, their band fucking sucks. And what the fuck is some airhead teenybopper doing polluting the Internet with this shit?



(Note: I didn't really think to mention this before, but the reason I mentioned 'Semi-Charmed Life' is that the subpar intellect behind 'Transtopia' named a fanfic after that rancid excuse for a song.)

Sorry. I was reading my old posts on MFO's anti-blog and realized I hadn't said anything horrible about some shitty website lately.

Lalalala.

More quotation from the letter, " I'm trying to get John (the Steelskin guy) interested in joining, but he's just not into it."

With people like her as his meeting partners, I can see why.

More quoting, "He thinks it'll suck so he not joining. He's been making jokes about how the girl is probably way younger than 19."

Hey, I think I could like this John guy. Can he write scathingly?

Quote-o-rama, "So worst case scenario is I'm stuck at McDonalds talking Transformers to an 8 year old. Now I know why there's an 'Adult Fans of Lego' group."

An 8 year old? She's probably some idiotic high school cheerleader (or otherwise vapid) girl who had a boyfriend who wore a shirt with the Autobot symbol on it he got from Hot Topic and can hardly remember Transformers. Fuck, he's probably one of the assholes who tried to beat me up for still liking Transformers in sixth grade when no else did anymore. He's probably one of those guys that we were talking about on here before... you know, the ones who can name Optimus AND NO ONE ELSE. She probably went, "Oh! Jazz is so cute! I wanna be a Transformers fan so I can pick up STUPID UNDERSEXED NERD BOYS AND GET THEM TO SPEND LOTS OF MONEY ON ME!!! RAR! FEAR ME AND MY POWERS OF SEXUAL PERSUASION!" But she probably spelled all of that wrong when she said it in her mind, and it was in between bouts of fantasizing about the Backstreet Boys. You know, one of the girls that spent the last four years tormenting Hellbunny and one of the ones that will receive their just desserts when Hellbunny receives her degree in chemical engineering and unleashes an unstoppable super disease and turns the planet into a barren wasteland. Knowing Hellbunny, she'll find a way to code it to your IQ and call it the 'Stupid People Plague', but I'm getting ahead of myself here...

Quoth the Esteban, "I'm giving up on convincing John to come. Looks like International Trtansformers Meetup Day is going to suck in Tucson. I'll take a camera anyways and see what happens."

Please send pictures.

In other news, I'm going to stalk whoever designed the website at SFSU because they need to learn the true meaning of fear.

P.S. Thank you, "thumper", for sharing your brother's pic of Jazz and your sister's pic of Ironhide that they drew circa 1984 when they were TODDLERS. Yes, thank you for making this startling discovery available online. I wish you good luck in your career as an archaelogist.
P.S.P.S. Gee, you think she didn't care about Transformers and just picked it up because 80's fads making a comeback is now trendy thanks to Hot Topic? Noooooo. Couldn't be.
P.S.P.S.P.S. You can't write.

Oh yeah, and I was reading our old archives and following the links to all the old 'blogs' we made fun of to see if they linked to us. Guess what? The vast majority of them no longer exist! I guess they took our advice and destroyed their 'blogs'! I just want to thank each and every one of you former 'blog' authors who destroyed your 'blogs' for helping to keep the Internet clean and to reduce the amount of pollution. I truly laud you and I take back the nasty things I said about you.

For those of you that chose not to remove your shitty excuses for websites, I wish for the opportunity to stomp on your maggot-eaten corpse. But I'll change that opinion if you just remove your 'blog' and never put it back up again. Really. Honest. It's that easy to get in good with me!

And for all of our readers, I want you to know that I love you all, even when you sign me up for spam lists, send me the occasional hate mail, or try to buy toys I don't even own. We may all giggle about your emails on Eat Tokyo! for a while, but we do love you.

I fixed a couple things on ye olde MFO. I updated the blog doodad so the archive link pops up a new window... you know, so you can actually READ the old entries when the blog was on its own page instead of them being crammed in the side. I left it crammed in the side like that for so long because I'm dumb.

I also added some link banners and code to the links page so you can link to us with some shitty banners we made.

I also added a link banner for this cool punk web comic doohickey called Nothing Nice to Say. Hey, since I plugged them there, why don't I plug them here? Sounds good!

Oh yeah, and speaking of cookies, Tyrant...

Here's a fun story. Hellbunny and my sister were gonna make cookies. See, when HB came back from New York and Massoftwoshits, she brought this shoebox full of awesome cookies she and her grandma baked. She wanted to bake cookies that would be way better than the ones she made with her grandma.

So, HB and my sister (in a rare mood, apparently, as she's usually about as domestic as people in ski masks razing three year olds with an uzi) badgered me until I took them to the grocery store so they could buy cookie materials like flour, chocolate chips, and tequila.

However, they did not have small bottles of Jose Cuervo there. We tried Walgreens, but unlike the Walgreens near where I live in San Francisco, the Tracy Walgreens does not have tequila. What the fuck? (Yes, this was actually not this weekend that's three minutes from ending, but the previous weekend, as I've had to go to Tracy both weekends so far.) Anyway, so we go to this fucking liquor store totally on the other side of Tracy, get the damn tequila and go home.

So HB and my sister start making the cookies. But they made some ... slight errors. See, as my mom revealed yesterday, the reason people use semi-sweet chocolate chips in cookies is that the heat of the oven melts regular chocolate turning your cookie into a slimey mess. They also followed the recipe on the back of the (not semi-sweet) chocolate chip bag for pancakes or something instead of cookies. The first batch came out as these giant, floppy, messy things that well, just weren't cookies. The second batch they forgot about for an hour until my mom smelled something burning and asked Hellbunny if they had left the oven on. Let's just say I've seen charcoal briquettes which were more cookie-like.

So we got MORE cookie material yesterday, and unless I miss my guess, they already made cookies back in Tracy which are no doubt fucking awesome and a million times better than the ones HB brought back from The East. Because that's how my luck works.

Then again, maybe it's got more to do with the fact that while they were making cookies last time I was watching the first ep of the new He-Man show (no, I didn't watch the movie version... I was too busy being agonizingly ill at the time) and then the first ep of Transformers Armada (which I already saw because I watched the movie.) Anyhow... I didn't exactly help. Plus I think they're gonna be pissed when they read this.

Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead.

Uhm, HB, you know I love the stuff you cook for me! Yeah!

P.S. Tequila made magaritas, not cookies, unlike my supposition.
P.S.P.S. The recipe my sister and Hellbunny used WAS on the back of the Ghirardelli bag. Unfortunately, it was the not-semi sweet bag and not the recipe for cookies.

Yoyoyo. I'm sick of TV. I haven't liked it for a while, and that's part of why I'm here at San Francisco State. Like I say on occasion... don't like it? CHANGE IT! So I'm changing it. In the meantime...

One of my roommates turned on the TV. The TV said, "It's like a cross between Heart of Darkness and Gilligan's Island!" No. It's like a cross between me smashing your skull with a brick and me crushing your trachea, bitch. I'm SO sick of TV.

Anyway, I closed the door and turned on some Zao.

Oh yeah, and Joseph Conrad is a tool and I hate the fucking the eaters of the cock (yes, that was a Michael Chrichton reference) at Fremont Union High School District who forced me to read that shitty book four years ago. Or was it three years ago? Whatever. When I was in high school.

Oh yeah, and Zao is the fucking shit. They are an awesome band. They are like what you get when you make death metal that is not some idiot grunting about skinning cats and give them actual talent. Well, then it's not really death metal, anymore, is it? Uhm. Well. Zao is cool anyway.

Broom was telling me something about someone saying that they were some hardcore Christian metal band or something, which I find unlikely. Two of the members of the band do thank God or Jesus or something Christian-y like that in the liner notes to the Zao CD I have, but the others don't, and the lyrics don't exactly remind me of Jesus very much. (Especially the one going on about how a couple of people who posted to their BBS were fucking morons. And Witchunter. And stuff.) In the final analysis, I don't really care, because they fucking rule. Buy their album if you like metal.