Here's another good email.

Subject: What do PC Makers and a worn-out mattress have in common?

Now, here I was thinking that both are good places to have sex on to irritate the neighbors, but apparently it's something about support or something. I zoned out after the sex part.

News flash to spam emailers everywhere: You guys are fucking idiots. I mean it. I'm not talking about how you email 7,000 people and no one ever buys your product. It's not that. I'm talking about how you can't target SHIT. Kat touched on this earlier, but let's examine this subject line, shall we?

Subject: Jeremy, Why Should Men Have All the Fun?

Let's examine this critically, okay? By starting with the name Jeremy, we have established that I am, indeed, a man. The subject continues by asking why men should have all the fun. As a man, shouldn't I be interested in having fun? Congratulations, guys. P.S. I don't think I'll be buying a product called Vigel, intended to improve clitoral circulation. See, I don't HAVE a clitoris to improve. But in other news, the circulation in my penis is just fine.

I mentioned this email and my friend, the mighty, hentacle-bearing Amyzak told me about a similar circumstance. She told me, "It said Subject: Amy, would you like to be noticed? The body was about a penis enlargement procedure involving two pills and a pump. I mailed them back on that one, thanking them and telling them how I really need a penis enlargement. Mine's so small I didnt know I had one." :) You tell 'em, Amyzak!

You know, I have normal lungs, but I can't breathe worth a shit. You know. Because my lungs are infested with bronchitis like Detroit is infested with crack labs.

We are an Orbanic website and as an Orbanic website, one of our goals is to show people that you can have fun serving Orban and that you can be a punk and love Orban too!

Yoyo, I be fixing up a new serving of MFO love for you all. In the meantime, I just thought I should share some email I got. You guys'll like this.

Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2001 00:25:59 -0600 (CST)
From: fffpapdos_44_3@hotmail.com
To: deadphrog@masterforce.org
Subject: Army of Sexy Uniform Girls

The sexiest babes strip off ther uniforms and costumes for you!
We have sexy maids, schoolgirls in uniform, army girls, cheerleaders, naughty nurses, ballerinas, secretaries, women in fantasy costumes and much more...

As if that wasn't great enough, check this shit out!

From: jailbaitorgy (jailbaitorgy@hotmail.com)
To: ginrai@masterforce.org
Subject: Questionnaire
Date: Sat, 17 Aug 2002 22:04:14 -0700

Well, there was no text in the body, but you just have to love that email address. Thank you, jailbaitorgy, you just brightened our lives.

Okay, this is Ginrai, finally pulling myself out of the depths of disease. I spent 99% of my time in Michigan nowhere near a computer with Internet access. As it turns out, the day where I posted about my skull collapsing was the only day I could've gotten MFO up from Michigan. It didn't happen. Sorry. Anyway, on the flight back I came down with something and spent the next three or four days with a fever. I'm starting to recover now, so I'm working on MFO again. Sorry for the delay all, I've been really, really sick.