Sorry this update is on the light side, guys. Fucking Paint Shop Pro crapped out on me and I've been trying desperately to edit some pics for Maz's article for this week. It just fucking isn't happening. PSP wont go, and I'm too tired to figure out an alternate program to use at this point.

Anyway, enjoy the update, nonetheless. The Old School Assault returns, Robat continues his robotic bat fetish, and introducing in his article debut, Huge Froggor with his Amphibious attack!

Drunken Optimus is still missing (we think he passed out over at Nate's house or something), but maybe we'll find him by next week. Bippy's still here, though!

Oh yeah, and I also had a comic for you guys courtesy EvilKat, but again, Paint Shop Pro sucking ass prevents this. If I somehow get this shit working tomorrow I'll make a mini-update and add Maz's article and Kat's comic. If not, they'll just go up next week. ... Assuming I can get PSP working by then. :P

Sorry, folks.

By the way, Ask Dr. Science is fucking brilliant. I listened to it on the radio religiously for many years, until they change its timeslot for something stupid like 8 AM on Sundays. You know, when I'm asleep. However, I got an Ask Dr. Science BOOK which is extremely cool. I found the Ask Dr. Science website and signed up for their text version of the daily Ask Dr. Science radio show (which is no longer daily... grr...), only to discover that nearly all of the questions and answers I was getting daily in my email box were actually contained in the book I own, which was published in 1986, if memory serves. That's kind of shifty...

But Dr. Science and his assistant Rodney, still kick ass, yo.

Yes, unfortunately, I have eaten their food. It literally has made me sick to my stomach on a number of occasions. I wont eat anything from there but ice cream and fries, because even though the fries are filthy with grease and about as healthy as swallowing large chunks of concrete, at least they don't make my violently ill and taste okay. But their burgers, without fail, make me very sick. And that is not chicken. They are lying to us.

Oh, maybe it was less than four, but I can't count anyway, as my barely squeaking by with a C in Pre-Caculus proved nicely in my Summer of Hell in Stockton, CA.

At any rate, MOST of you love us, according to Blog Hot Or Not, and we love you too, unless you have shitty 'blogs' where you talk about your socks and enjoying Gundam Wing pedo-necro-beastial-scat-snuff fanfic. Then we hate you. But all of you gentle readers who read us and love us and vote high numbers for us, we love you. Help us show the world that 'blogs' where people talk about INANE SHIT NO ONE CARES ABOUT, NOT EVEN THE MOTHERS OF THE 'BLOGGERS', THEMSELVES, ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Please folks, help us stop Internet pollution. We've already killed many an evil 'blog' thanks to your help, and also Ronald McDonald. Stand by us and help us to annihilate all forms of twisted deviance like shitty 'blogs' and fast food chain advertising slogans.

P.S. I tried to post this before, but Opera crashed eating the post. Fortuntately, I had copied the text to the clipboard before doing so. But dammit Opera, that was not cool.

SEETHE. BLOGGER, STOP DOUBLE POSTING.

Hey, I just want the four motherfuckers out there who rated us a fucking 1 on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the best) to know that they can kiss my motherfucking ass, yo.

P.S. I know you just rated it that way because we made fun of your shitty blogs where you said, 'Sorry for not writing lately' and told us what color your fucking socks were that morning.

BLOGGER! QUIT SUCKING! Why did you put my post on there twice instead of just updating the post about MSN and The Sims like you should have? BAD BLOGGER!

Blogger was smoking crack for a little bit there, guys, and for a bit the blogger site was totally inaccessible for me. I know that some of you had posts that you made a day or two ago that didn't go up. Well, they've gone up now. Bad Blogger. Anyway... on the recent topics:

MSN is fucking scum. I laughed really hard at their attempts to claim objectivity when they were reviewing the Xbox. They kept sticking in (MSN is owned by Microsoft) all the time as if that somehow made what they were saying impartial. They would go on about how the Xbox was better than sex, but they're owned by Microsoft and because they admit this, they are therefore unbiased. They also reviewed the other systems by patting the Dreamcast on the head and saying, "Well, you could been somewhere... but not since Microsoft bailed out". Then they said the PlayStation 2 had a couple of good games, but shitty tech, and then panned the Game Cube entirely. Boy, MSN, I'm so glad I trust you exclusively as a news source.

I have some ideas on what MSN really stands for.

Multifacted Scum Network
Malicious System of Nullification
Me Suck Nuts

I could go on, but that would be a waste of your time and mine.

On to other topics. Tyrant was talking about the Transformer Ultra Magnus and him sucking. Well, he does. Except in the UK comics he was cool. We're actually getting a graphic novel collection doohicky of some of the UK comics here in the US, finally, to match the Primal Scream, Matrix Quest, All Fall Down, and End of the Road books we've gotten already. This one is one of my favorite UK storylines, Target: 2006. It features Ultra Magnus kicking ass, Jetfire leading the Autobots, and the Wreckers. Thumbs up. Oh yeah, and the Diaclone toy that Ultra Magnus is a shitty excuse for, Powered Convoy, kicks major ass.

Now that I'm done being a Transformers geek, allow me to be an anime geek. (And speaking of Cowboy Bebop...)

I downloaded a bunch of skins for The Sims, including ones for Jet, Faye, and Spike. With Hellbunny and I taking turns at the wheel, they lived in their house, getting regular visits from Skeletor, Batman, Batgirl, Catwoman, Dark Phoenix, Magneto, RX-78 Gundam, Char Aznable, et cetera. Faye and Spike got a really strong relationship going, but Spike isn't very faithful, and has been seeing Jet on the side. Jet and Faye are both deeply in love with Spike, and he's perfectly willing to sleep with either of them. Faye and Jet violently hate each other and are always fighting over Spike. Despite our efforts to keep Jet and Faye from slapping each other, they still really can't stand each other.

And Faye had a baby, but while she was gone at work Spike and Jet did such a pisspoor job of taking care of the baby that Child Protective Services took the baby away.

In other news in The Sims land, RX-78, Wing Gundam, and Char Aznable moved into the mansion and had a WILD party. So wild, in fact, that the house caught on fire. One minute it was RX-78 and Char in the hot tub with Faye and Batgirl in skimpy bikinis, with Wing at the BBQ making some burgers, and the next Batman's trying to use the stove and burning the house down. Several pieces of furniture were lost while Faye, Batgirl, Dark Phoenix, and some of the other female neighbors jumped up and down screaming in a semi-circle around the fire. Wing ran to the kitchen, stared, and just stood there. Char jumped in the pool. The RX-78 was the only one with the presence of mind to call the fire department. The FD DID put out the fire, though, even at cost to the house.

Oh yeah, and earlier in the home of Magneto, Dark Phoenix, Vampirella, and Skeletor another tragic fire happened. See, Magneto, Dark Phoenix, and Skeletor were away at work doing their chosen jobs as pickpockets. Vampy had a night job as a mob driver and torpedo, so she was home alone, being on a different schedule. The stove caught fire and she valiently fought the flames herself. Unfortunately, the fire raged out of control and consumed her. She perished courageously battling the flames. Her roommates came home and sweeped up the ashes that were all that was left of the stove, sink, and garbage can. Then they sold her tombstone for $5 and bought a new stove, sink, and garbage can. Boy, villains aren't very loyal, are they? Well, to be fair, Skeletor got a little misty eyed for a minute, but forgot all about her when they got the new stove. He was mystified.